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prison I remember depression. Melancholy––a set of hooks upon my face. Weighted chains pulled skin from my smile. A mind in endless chaos––a pain unlike any other. My spirit dimmed, any chance of freedom felt thwarted by despair. And so it was, that in this despair, this turning away, I realized the prison I inhabited.Continue reading “prison”

the parachute is you

the parachute is you If ever you stand at the door of an airplane and feel immense fear[something great is about to happen] but you tighten your harness[the universe always has your back] trust in the parachute and consciously[deliberately] decide[practice] to let go, then the trip down will be a damn good deal of fun[appreciation]Continue reading “the parachute is you”

Brick & Mortar

Brick & Mortar Why do we build structures to house our dreams and ideas? Why do we hold back and wait for the comfort and safety of the perfected thing? When can the inspiration of genius take its place in raw form, enter the universe through us, and be uplifted by others at its inception?Continue reading “Brick & Mortar”


flourish winter is over everyone has lost something how else do we grow

fragile at first

Fragile at First It has been said that trees can take away your sorrow. The whole of the forest will swallow your sadness and dispel your grief. Lean against those grand trunks. Feel all of it. Open your wounds to new air and bend toward healing. Make way for the light through the leaves ofContinue reading “fragile at first”

there are stars

there are stars though we wish to burst forth, unleash our shared love in supernova feel again, the pulse of one another together in perfect proximity the waning is not yet complete though it feels like light years endure this blue-moon time though it feels like light years embrace this exceptional longing— it is notContinue reading “there are stars”

the miracle before me

the miracle before me a crescendo of strings and horn harken the river blue my heart is overjoyed by the beautiful Danube this confluence of sound and my want for hearing it an exultation the moment before this waltz the world prior to any creation this composers ink to paper a miracle

appreciation of beauty

Appreciation of Beauty beauty the perfection of good timing and déjá vu the heart beating in your chest a prayer beauty a newspaper, curled down on one side, your Grandfather winking at you as you giggle, close your mouth, and remember to eat your cornflakes quieter this time beauty this human form spring rain aContinue reading “appreciation of beauty”

that they may know

that they may know I teach my children through music Ella Fitzgerald Dizzy Gillespie Nina Simone because the things I think I know like dust and scratches provide no resonance I teach my children stereo and mono show them a steady hand how to place the needle in the pause before a song the quietContinue reading “that they may know”


Guidance Dear body: breathe eagerness into my life, make keen this vessel bestowed upon me. Dear spirit: evoke in me expressions of joy, delight in a contented nature. Dear mind: manifest the truthful unfolding of my reality, and direct and govern my thoughts with discipline. Dear heart: soften me when I become hard, make gentleContinue reading “Guidance”

Into the Mystic

grief found me today through a Van Morrison song tears as I went about my chores a flood of memories dust particles dance about the room above your collection of vinyl each album packed neatly into a tower of milk crates “Blue,” “Kind of Blue,” “Lady Sings the Blues,” a small maroon Buddha keeps yourContinue reading “Into the Mystic”


Settler I am vine of English Ivy working my way across the forest floor encroaching on every space a colony of green unhindered I plant roots, shallow but insidious I invade I claim everywhere, everything still, I have to be sure these trees, like mountains or rivers, are too, mine for the taking like slitheringContinue reading “Settler”

tender mercy, an exploration with the inner child

tender mercy – an exploration with the inner child when we finally met it felt like I knew you the ease at which our pain ceased in those early days together, made way for many possibilities later, pain emerged we caused it in each other, worked out our demons, we drudged up, dragged out pushedContinue reading “tender mercy, an exploration with the inner child”

a dedication

a dedication If you’re reading this Cody Graham, I’m working on it. You know, “the book,” the one you asked me to dedicate to you in our high school writing class? I’m nearing 43 years old now. Words scattered about in various journals, boxes, notes on my phone, the google drive.You can see it onContinue reading “a dedication”


water when I was a child I loved to swim and there is something about being underwater that feels right for me and sometimes even now I let myself imagine I am underwater again where every piece of me is wrapped and held and I am young once more and then comes that moment whenContinue reading “Water”


Steadfast Remember the back of your grandmother’s hands,  her life, a wrinkle of lines your mother’s mother burst forth from stars  through radio waves,  rockets,  and rebellion  to meet you In her time, bombs created constellations  then fell in formation around her heart Decades of war cast shadows on her bones  but from them she forgedContinue reading “Steadfast”

Medicine Dream

Medicine Dream I saw the buffalo-man and the universe delighted dreams set stars on my heart, turning them to stone that I might resonate with a star-less night a mighty seeker came down choosing this body, with its many desires and misery wanting, again, to experience a whale’s flight through water a bear within herContinue reading “Medicine Dream”


water crashes on high-tide shores stirring sand and seaweed long after yesterday’s storm rain’s drizzle dampens driftwood forts resurrected again and again by children you and me a lifetime ago   where stingray sailing beneath the surf fly gracefully together toward sand bars of calm a gathering of family you and you and you andContinue reading “Aotearoa”


water tinkling across barnacles pebbles rendered smooth by waves gentle not unlike kindness

Autumn Leaves

Autumn Leaves As a young child growing up in New Zealand, I remember dreaming about autumn in Canada. Fall leaves, like the ones I imagined while listening to Joni Mitchell records, lined country roads with reds and oranges and yellows and every other colour that fills a heart with warmth. In my imaginings, Canada wasContinue reading “Autumn Leaves”

our names etched in the wood remnants of an old shack at Eddy Lake ~ for Leila

Our names etched in the wood remnants of an old shack at Eddy Lake   we knew just how to slide the upstairs window open in unison with the faucet at the kitchen sink parents fill the kettle for tea as we descend the fire escape ladder thankful the light inside the house masks ourContinue reading “our names etched in the wood remnants of an old shack at Eddy Lake ~ for Leila”

Forty Years Now

Forty Years Now a pocketful of sand I’ve searched beaches for myself a box of letters I’ve written them all to nobody a scar across my abdomen I’ve fallen into motherhood to bliss an oversized wedding ring I’ve shrunken into love with you to know a sibling to really know them to know me asContinue reading “Forty Years Now”


Vegemite Vegemite is all the hours mum spent rolling bread dough. It is aprons dusted with flour, some on her face, some on the floor. Vegemite is fresh bread’s scent wafting down the hallway, toasted and buttery. Vegemite is childhood slathered on top of those memories. The yellow labeled jars emptied and filled with beachContinue reading “Vegemite”


11:37 It’s 11:37, again. Today, and on so many days, when I glance at the clock. 11:37 I’m reminded of your first breath. 11:37 I, brought on by your light, am introduced to all the goodness in me, my best self. Funny, how nothing of who I was before you, seemed relevant. Your perfect everything,Continue reading “11:37”

just ask jackrabbit

just ask jackrabbit somewhere in a photo box lives the real truth of this town before ghosts, before cars lined in rows became headstones in a graveyard rusting, dusty sunken into dirt even before the well was empty town hall graffitied, boarded up, condemned. somewhere there is proof but coyotes run rampant a Great HornedContinue reading “just ask jackrabbit”

Little Cabin Rabby-Tack

Little Cabin Rabby-Tack Little brother freckle-face what do you see? Lying on your stomach, reaching into sea. Driftwood fishing line discarded at your feet, squinty-eyed to sun glare cockabully. Little sister scruffy-hair what do you see? Knees deep in low-tide pools, singing happily. Gumboots full of water Feet and hands in glee, sun-kissed glow ofContinue reading “Little Cabin Rabby-Tack”


Daughter “Where’s your favourite place on earth?” my daughter asks. “It’s a simple question Mum.” And it is. But the choosing of just one place worries me. It renders the places left out, not good enough. Like that house I lived in for a month when I was eight years old. The place that myContinue reading “Daughter”

a place to plant a seed

a place to plant a seed what are masks if not versions of ourselves we remove and bury again and again and again until all that remains is dirt and soil and earth

Everything Gets Their Turn

Everything Gets Their Turn butterfly born of darkness seek light shift about the straight-jacket of birth a pressure on beauty awake asleep awake forgets caterpillar chrysalis crickets of the field conduct blade of grass as Strings orchestrate stridulations sound a twilight song earth’s axis tilts toward summer to her small creatures giving them time too

upon a parent’s dying

upon a parent’s dying knowing nobody in grief not yourself you wash your father’s feet while east and west collide in kindness and palms are grace and you water and you wash your mother’s feet of earth and dust laugh into pails of gladness as tears come knowing them now

Bella Bella (No. 2)

Bella Bella (No. 2) this place has its own law it erases the city shows us the brightest stars your reflection this place is magic its outflow winds bend trees cracking and splitting time beckoning us home

depression, and other things that make you uncomfortable

depression, and other things that make you uncomfortable If I were visible you’d see bruising on my brainstem there would be no skin the open wounds of my thoughts resemble black eyes lesions on lesions If I were visible you’d inject sanity in my veins a vile of happy administered at will If I wereContinue reading “depression, and other things that make you uncomfortable”


Backstabbing those unkind words slip out wielding daggers as they escape my parted lips my heart retracts as I stumble to recover sewing up the frayed edges the spilling out of my shitty-ness I see it now the criticism the judgement my error but the hurt is done and the worst part is you weren’tContinue reading “Backstabbing”


insomnia what is it about these wee hours the time heaven is closest to earth where stations of uncertainty beckon us to thought? what mighty outpouring of creation swirls its decree about our souls calling all force to imagination? where is sleep in all of this, if not a dream? behold the exquisite beauty ofContinue reading “insomnia”


Sockeye Oh splendorous sockeye! how can I replace your red flesh offerings, your salty silver scales? How can I dance to your memory? The memory I hold in my cells, the memory I hold in my skin, the memory I hold in my wildness, the part of me that is not human, the part ofContinue reading “Sockeye”

Little Sparrow

Little Sparrow Little Sparrow Breathe the air of this garden. Amidst the shrubs your beating ruby heart, your delicate wings, a sapphire song. Little Sparrow My love is a formidable flight, a gentle whisper, a wish atop a golden branch. Little Sparrow Remember the Happy Prince? Tell me, are you not that swallow? For IContinue reading “Little Sparrow”

I Hope You Finish That Novel

I Hope You Finish That Novel – for Coranne I’ve earmarked a place in me and I want to swallow your skylark song how else can I wipe my plate clean of that lanscape, the rolling hills of your words, the taste of your imagination.


Ghost I say “Good morning” as we pass in the hall. We’ve passed in the hall every day for nearly eight months now. You never say anything back. Surely by now you recognize me, surely by now you’ve noticed my security pass my new shoes as you look down to the floor lower your eyesContinue reading “Ghost”


Moment Count the times you turned to the sun at daybreak and wished for more sunrises an easy Sunday an evening swim the last time you were carried in from the car the body holds all knowledge of things you leave behind


Breakup You never stay for tea, always rushing to the next thing to satisfy your ego. Always the opposite direction of me, always regret. Your distracted fingers mimic drum beats on your thighs. You want me to stop talking, I get it, I see you eyeing your shoes at the door. Remember when we watchedContinue reading “Breakup”

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